Shadowed Mirrors
by Inyx Dawn
Summary: Have you ever felt afraid to look in a mirror? I have. It’s not my reflection that scares me, it’s the feeling I receive when I see my face staring horrified right back at me. I have had this phobia for so long. If only...
1. Shattered Dreams

**Disclaimer:**This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Summary: **Have you ever felt afraid to look in a mirror? I have. It's not my reflection that scares me, it's the feeling I receive when I see my face staring horrified right back at me. I have had this phobia for so long. If only...

* * *

Have you ever felt afraid to look in a mirror? I have. In fact, I haven't looked into a mirror for more than four years. My name is Hermione Granger by the way.

I suppose you're wondering why I would possibly fear my own reflection. Well, it's not my reflection that scares me, it's the feeling I receive when I see my face staring horrified right back at me.

I have had this phobia for so long. I want to be able to look into a mirror and smile. But so many things have happened. Too many things. And I am beginning to believe that everyone is right about me. If only…

_Do you think I'm pretty?_

* * *

_I am lost in a room of mirrors. There I am and there and there and oh _God_ why?!_

_Wet russet eyes moved around wildly, trying fruitlessly to find an escape. There was none._

_And the mirrors turned to shadows, a memory in each one. Memories of times wished to be forgotten. Hermione entered one._

* * *

"Class, we have a new student joining us today. Her name is Hermione Granger. I do hope you will all make her feel welcomed," the elderly third grade teacher announced to her class.

A small girl with bushy chocolate colored hair slowly entered the room. Her deep brown eyes held a barely contained panic as she realized how many people were staring at her. She was soon pointed to a desk at the front of the class, and the trembling girl took her seat.

Lunch time came all too quickly for the new student as she was suddenly bombarded with questions.

"Where did you last go to school?"

"Why did you enter so late?"

"Why are your teeth so huge?"

"Why is your hair so big?"

"Yeah! It looks like a big bushy mess!"

Hermione Granger, cowering in front of her new classmates, cringed mentally at the hurtful and personal inquiries directed toward her. Was there something wrong with her hair? Sure it was rather wild but that wasn't a just cause to ridicule the curly locks. And so what if her teeth were a bit on the large side. Her parents told her that it didn't matter, so why did these kids think it did?

"Do you…think I'm pretty?" she asked timidly. Maybe their questions were merely observations reworded into questions. Maybe…

One of the kids laughed. "Well I know I don't. I bet half my lunch that she's part animal and that's why her hair and teeth are like that."

The others laughed too. "Probably a beaver!" another of the kids cried out.

The dismayed and hurt child curled into herself, feeling a deep want to be accepted and pretty. Her heart was in so much pain, her tiny lungs wouldn't contain any of the air she was desperately trying to suck in, and her head felt like someone was grabbing it tightly. Panic swelled deep into her mind, but all too soon her eyes closed and her breath evened out as she sailed peacefully on the shores of unconsciousness.

* * *

_The woman cried out in pain. She felt as if someone was crushing her head, and her body was on fire as sharp sobs took a hold of her._

_No no no no no! I want to escape. Need to get out. Need to…oh please…_

_The shadows of the past sucked her back in._

* * *

**© 2008 Inyx Dawn**


	2. Worst Memories

**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Summary: **Have you ever felt afraid to look in a mirror? I have. It's not my reflection that scares me, it's the feeling I receive when I see my face staring horrified right back at me. I have had this phobia for so long. If only...

* * *

The tall girl smirked down at the younger one. "Who on earth would want to be friends with you?" she asked scathingly.

Hermione's head lowered and she walked away.

"You're nothing but a _freak_!"

_Freak freak freak_

'I'm not a freak. I'm not a freak!' she cried mentally.

_-and the world was spinning and she was hurting and she couldn't breathe and everything was just slipping and black, black, black…_

* * *

_She fell on her knees, sobbing. Her heart was going to implode she was sure of it. The pain; the never ending pain! _

_The teenager threw her head back, screaming. Her hands were twitching, as if she wanted nothing more than to scratch and rip and tear at something._

_Get me out of here!_

* * *

Her mother's concerned eyes slowly swam before her vision, and her ears popped as she heard her father's gruff voice somewhere in the distance.

"I want to…happened! …she on…?" the dizzy girl's father demanded.

Hermione's narrowed eyes gazed blearily at her mother, small tears cascading down her face from where they had been trapped on her eyelashes.

"Mommy? What's…going on?" she whispered slowly.

Her mother blinked furiously as her mouth widened to a relieved smile. "Oh, baby!" she cried as she gathered her daughter into a hug. "What happened, sweetie?"

Tired russet eyes immediately turned cold and narrowed. "Nothing," she responded stiffly.

* * *

_Those hardened brown eyes glared at herself in the mirror._

_I hate you_

_I hate you_

_I hate you!_

_A malicious laugh echoed through the room of mirrors. Hitting each glass surface and rebounding around her._

_One lowly cracked mirror lay in front of the kneeling girl. A flash of memory flickered reflecting in her eyes. Her heart started to pound and tighten, and her lungs seemed small and tried desperately to leave her body. She was thrown into the shadowed mirror._

* * *

The small girl held herself confidently, walking on the train with a brief wave to her parents before she set out to find a, hopefully, empty compartment.

The bushy haired child had prepared herself for this leg of her life. After receiving her acceptance letter, she'd dragged her mother to Diagon Alley so that she could purchase all the necessary school supplies. The moment they had arrived back at home, Hermione locked herself in her room and read all of her textbooks. She probably knew more than three quarters of the first year students.

Relieved russet eyes looked into the seemingly empty room, and the girl sat down on the cushioned bench closest to the door. Not ten minutes later, the door opened to allow a small, pudgy boy who was looking out into the hallway with terrified eyes, practically squeezing the forest green toad that lay in his hands.

Turning around slowly as if just noticing someone else in the room, the boy glanced down at Hermione. He smiled nervously and gulped. "Um hello. Sorry, I didn't think anyone else was in here. Do you – mind? If I sit here I mean."

The eleven year old shook the masses of bushy chocolate hair that had entered her line of vision and had disrupted her view of the small first year.

"No, no it's fine," she spoke in a clear voice.

The boy smiled hesitantly and sat across from her, also near the door. He looked as if he was about to bolt.

"My name's Neville Longbottom, and this," he said pointing at the toad in his lap, "is Trevor. Are you a first year too?"

Hermione spared a short distasteful glance at Trevor before once again gazing at Neville. "My name is Hermione Granger, and yes, I am also a first year."

Neville tilted his head to the side, confused. "Granger? Are you muggleborn then?"

The girl's top lip folded as she bared her teeth, and snarled, "Yes, I am. Is that a problem?"

The boy's eyes, once having been calm if not slightly nervous, turned fearful as he frantically shook his head. However, as his attention had wavered, Trevor hopped out of his lap and into the hallway. The boy cried out for him, momentarily forgetting about Hermione.

Said girl shook her head so that she could gather herself. She watched as Neville ran out of the compartment, stumbling after his toad. Realizing the perfect opportunity to explore the train, Hermione exited, albeit with more grace than Neville had, and headed the other way.

She glanced through the glass doors for interesting characters when she found one near the end of the train. The compartment held two boys, one a red head and the other with black hair and the greenest eyes Hermione had ever seen.

She opened the door and poked her head inside. "Excuse me, by any chance, have either one of you found a toad?"

* * *

**© 2008 Inyx Dawn**


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